A reader writes:
“My mother (91) and father (97) had been using a handyman/gardener for about three years. He seemed to do a good job and got on with them to the point where he was almost becoming like a son to them. This wasn’t problematic until there became an urgent need for my mother to move into a rest home because she had lost most of her physical mobility and had had to go to hospital for on two occasions within the same week or because of other health problems.
After much difficulty, I managed to find a hospital rest home bed for my mother in a retirement village/rest home that also had a serviced apartment that my father could purchase so that he could be close to her.
I was going to direct the handyman/gardener from this point on as to looking after their large family home, but he decided to stop working for my parents as he had an issue with me. My father called him back and after that the understanding was that my father would continue to tell him what needed to be done.
Not long after that my mother passed away, and this is when the financial abuse started to become noticeable.
My father received rent from a house he owned of $560 a month, all of which he would give to the gardener/handyman who didn’t seem to be doing a lot around the property.
The relationship between my father and the gardener/handyman had become even more father and son like, with the gardener/handyman calling my father “dad”.
Then he charged $1000 for what looked like about a days work. By this time myself and my siblings were getting concerned that the gardener/handyman was increasingly overcharging and I asked for receipts.
The gardener/handyman then claimed I threatened his mother when I rang her to leave a message. The gardener/handyman did not, or claimed not, to have a phone or a bank account, with all payments strictly cash.
He said that if I ever threatened his mother again he would find out where I lived and deal to me. He then went to see my father and made all sorts of accusations about me including that I was disrespectful to my parents.
One of my sisters took over dealing with the handyman and suggested a “cooling off” period of two weeks. We paid him the $1000 and a few weeks later he told my father he wouldn’t be working for him anymore.
Of course, the situation was a lot more complicated than this brief description outlines. The essence of the problem was that my father had complete faith in the gardener/handyman and was not able to comprehend that he could be ripping him off.
My father had complete charge over his own affairs and while in a state of mind that made him vulnerable, would not have been considered by a doctor to be in need of the Enduring Power Of Attorney being enacted.
It is quite feasible for old people to be ripped off by people they know, while concerned families have no power to do anything about this.
Our concern was that the financial abuse was going to increase and my father could be manipulated into other actions as well such as having my father’s Will altered.
Luckily, and surprisingly, my father agreed to enacting the EDOA for his financial affairs during the cooling off period which my sister arranged with the lawyers so that there was some degree of protection if my father had kept the gardener/handyman”.